Being Grateful to Yourself

A friend just sent me this, and although in the US Thanksgiving has finished, I think this applies equally to our impending Xmas season with all its accompanying ambiguities and anxieties...enjoy

Being Grateful for Yourself

Some of you may be celebrating this Thanksgiving with warmth, laughter, hugs, turkey and pumpkin pie. Some of you may feel stranded, like the marble that rolled away from the group, stuck with the dust bunnies in outer space, abandoned under some old furniture. And some of you may feel stranded in broad daylight, surrounded by people, feeling invisible, or worse yet, as visible and broken as a car wreck on the side of the road, strangers gathering to gawk at the shattered glass.

For many, the holidays can bring up discomfort. They can be some weird checkpoint in life--where you find yourself comparing your entire life to the fantasies you have in your head of how your cousin, neighbor, or sister-in-law is pulling it off. Let me tell you something, no one is pulling this off. No one is spared challenge or confusion in this life. Everyone, consciously or not, is seeking to find peace, comfort and communion with their own soul.

Anyway, I don't know about you, but in holidays past, I've had the feeling of standing in some bad, funky, psychodrama, and feeling as though my head is a big pink balloon floating away from my neck and onto the ceiling. And that's before I touched the alcohol. There are those easy breezy questions people ask, stuffing celery sticks and chips into their mouth. "So what you doing these days?" they ask, and you stand there paralyzed, thinking to yourself, "Well, if I knew what I was doing, do you really think I'd have 200 self-help books, a coach, a therapist, a Vedic astrologer, and a medium?" Sometimes, I find myself itching to answer these questions with, "Could you be more specific? When you say, what are you doing these days, do you mean on the astral planes or do you mean in physical time?" Of course if you're lucky, some celebrity may have died recently and you can pick apart their lives and spare your own.

So whatever your holiday experience might be, this Thanksgiving Day, I'm inviting you to my table. It's a table of soul, and it's big. It includes all of us, even those of you around the world, who don't celebrate this tradition. Thanksgiving is about gratitude, and realizing the bounty all around you. If you're reading this newsletter, you're part of my harvest. I am so grateful for you, and everyone around this amazing globe who is walking a new path in the world, consciously exploring what life means to them, and choosing to live with more love and intention than they did before. It's a big table, I tell you, and there's a party going on.

Here's what goes on at the table of soul. You suspend self-judgment for a day, and take in everything wonderful about you. You bask in gratitude for your absolutely gorgeous self. It's not easy to be creating a joyful, passionate, and inspired life. And it's even harder to be making choices that lead to an uninspired one. So wherever you find yourself on that spectrum, please take a moment, if not many, to muster up some gratitude for your choices, lessons, and strength this year. Let's face it, it hasn't always been easy living in your own skin and daring to honor your instincts, but you're still trying. And that's everything.

Let me tell you, just a tiny bit of why I'm grateful for you.

I'm grateful to you for all those times you gave yourself another chance at new life, showed up at a workshop, a network meeting, a party, a blind date, or even another day, when the gray one inside mumbled or hissed, "I don't feel like it." I'm grateful for the times you chose kindness over defensiveness, and the times you couldn't do it, but you wanted to. I'm grateful to you for exploring how to live your dreams, even when you're not sure what they are on some days-- or if you will ever find your own true place in the world. I am grateful to the part of you that knows you have a throne, garden, or a stadium in the world, and knows you are here to make a difference, and that you embody a light like no other-- because you do.

I am grateful to you for the dignity it takes to own your values when you live in a culture that advertises the leg room of the interior of an SUV as freedom, and at the same time makes fun of meditation and personal growth.

I am grateful to you for not giving up on your dreams even when they seem fragile or bruised, silly, or far-fetched, because everything that has ever changed the nature of the world began with something that was sideways and unpredictable. I am grateful to you for siding with the part of yourself that knows you have love and excellence and still believes, even if you haven't sold your novel yet, or filled your coaching practice, because "the one who believes" is a conscious steward of your gifts, and is connected to the bigger truth which is still emerging.

I am most grateful to you, for every time you've put an arm around your own shoulders and said "Hey, it's going to be okay. You have aces in your hand you don't know about. You have another day. You have a loving God that loves you through and through and through, and you have me, and I'm going to try harder than ever before to be on your side more often."
I could go on...but you get the idea.

Remember to be grateful for other people, too. They are making the best choices they know how, and sometimes they are frightened and covering it up with shopping or alcohol or bragging about their daughter. Use your ex-ray loving eyes, if you can, and look past their clever camouflage and beam some love into their tiny frightened hearts. You don't need them to respond. Just silently invite them to our table, because everybody is welcome here. Pass the peas please. And pass the peace.

With my love and blessings,



Tama

©Copyright 2009 Tama J. Kieves. All rights reserved.

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This message is from Tama's monthly email newsletter: www.AwakeningArtistry.com

Desert tree

I had a most important and transformational healing session today with my acupuncturist. With the needles in me, my inner consciousness went into a desert. There was a river. I released a whole lineage of grief, regret, sadness and pain. As I floated out into the ocean of Oneness, so did generations of my ancestors and children of children get released. I am filled with gratitude. I can feel that energy will flow more easily in my life and those of my family...

The Mask…amidst nature

The Mask… Art at Scheveningen!!
Originally uploaded by B'Rob

I saw this sculpture when I was in Scheveningen (Holland) some years ago. It had a powerful effect on me. There was something apocalyptic about it even then. I found many layers in my psyche it resonated with.
The mask amidst field of wild blown grass: the mask we wear in the midst our raw nature; the breaking down and dissolving of constructs of the ego amidst the elements..

The breaking down of a civilization...a broken concrete mask..just fallen out of the sky..

dark thoughts

Ok, so I'm smiling here. This photo is a school photo taken in 1961, in Curacao. I was 10.
Over the last few days my mind has been so negative and self defeating. Everything just feels a bit too hard, the chaos of my studio, the dreams of a better life...
Feels like I need to shrink away the screaming thoughts and let in the light again..

Sisters: Peta & Candy '05

This photo was taken in Adelaide in 2005. We weren't actually getting on so well at that time, although things were better than they'd been. The sorting of our parents estate between 1998-2004 wreaked havoc on what was already quite a tenuous relationship between us. But there were always times when, even though we didn't like each other, we loved each other: a particular kind of love, which is exclusive to sisters I think. Somehow you can see it in the rhythm of our steps here.

Ode to my sister, Peta van Rood

Here she is, my beautiful sister Peta, who died on July 12th 2009. She was only 62. Her death was her release. She'd had some very hard challenges, yet lately she seemed so well and happy in her wonderful 35 year old partnership with Stephen George. She has left behind a son, Sam van Rood, who lives in London with his partner Jane. (he has just suffered a serious stroke earlier this year..) And a daughter, Rosie. The shock of Peta's sudden and unexpected death will take perhaps years to real-ize.

I love this picture of her, this was her at her finest, (happy always when with Nature). A great Spirit, Peta has touched many many people with her unconditional love and inclusive humanitarian nature. Bless you my sister, you will be missed.....

the shadow and the white cat

Just near where I live on sunny days two white cats lie together on the street. This is the younger of the two, the elder and obviously the parent is battle scarred and street wise. I guess their owner sends them outside to get some relief from the layer of white fur on every surface of their home!

you've got a friend

This is such a beautiful and moving little video, it touches your heart,
and is so creative as well. Enjoy

Bo and his roses

I met this adorable young man on the tram yesterday. I was on my way to look after my grandson for the afternoon. I was busy sending emails, updating facebook, headphones on, oblivious to the outside world, the ins and outs of the tram. Then I smelled this delicious and overwhelming scent of roses. Opposite me, was this boy with a huge bunch of roses. I couldn't help but ask him who the lucky person was going to be to receive these beauties. He said: "my grandmother". I found myself projecting into the future, and hoping that one day my grandson would be carrying a big bunch of sweet scented red roses for me..I felt so priveleged to be sharing this moment with him as we chatted about our iPhones, and Uni, and my grandson, the baby Leroy...

The Awakening

THE AWAKENING

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of
all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the
voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child
quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder
once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world
through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to
change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the
next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or
Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings
(or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever
after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born
of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will
always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK.

They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the
process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you
(or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really
count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say
and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always
about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the
process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they
are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties..and in the
process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around
you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been
ingrained into your psyche.

And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you
should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you
should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should
make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should
marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your
parents, family, and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.

And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really
stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to
discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have
bought into to begin with ... and in the process you learn to go with your
instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive.

And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop
maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated
ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation
upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the
world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance
of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and
that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love.

How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk
away.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would
have them be.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing
things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK....and that it is
your right to want things and to ask for the things you want ... and that
sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love,
kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less.

And you learn that your body really is your temple.

And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.

You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to
exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you
take more time to rest.

And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul.

So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you
deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it
happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need
direction, discipline and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk
asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of
all: FEAR itself.

You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that
whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away
the right to live life on your own terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a
cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think
you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good
people.

On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.

You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers.

It's just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be
understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and
poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we
take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only
dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a
long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you
make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle
for less than your heart's desire.

And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open
to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand,
you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as
best you can.

-- Author Unknown